“I’m nervous, but definitely ready,” I said to J over the phone.
“Don’t be nervous, I’ll be there shortly to hold your hand,” He replied.
It was only 5:30 a.m., but we both knew our lives were about to change forever. As I drove with my mom to the hospital while the love of my life got everything together I rubbed my huge soft belly one last time. The roads were dark as the sun rose while we drove the short fifteen minute drive that seemed to last forever. I watched as black pavement moved with the bright dashed yellow lines.
“I am happy you’re here,” I said as I looked over to my mom.
She grabbed my hand, squeezed, and responded, “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
As we arrived at the hospital, my mom and I walked through the two large sliding glass doors to check in.
“I’m here for my 6:00 a.m. appointment to be induced,” I heard myself say out loud.
Just then a woman in mint green scrubs came through the corridor with a wheel chair .
“Jennifer _________,” she belted.
“Oh. I don’t need that,” I responded, getting up to meet her.
She just looked at my with a smile and said “Sit down and enjoy the ride.”
She pushed me down the long corridor while my mom walked alongside us. We stopped and went up in an elevator before reaching the doors I recognized. TRIAGE, read the small sign next to the doorway. I got up before being ushered into a waiting room where they could do some typical check in work. It wasn’t long before Jared arrived and they moved us to the room that I would be in until my Penelope’s grand entrance into the world. It was large with a sofa chair, windows with sunlight, and space all around the bed. This is huge. I can’t believe I got such a nice room with a beautiful view, I thought to myself. They got me ready in the bed and prepped my IV for the fluids they would start to give me. I was told I would receive 2 bags of fluid before receiving the Pitocin. I knew the Pitocin would start my contractions so I anxiously laid in my hospital bed as the sound of the drip from the IV filled the room in chorus with the beeping of the stomach and heart monitors. It won’t be much longer now. Although I wish I could get up, I’ll just turn on the TV for now, I thought.
Flash forward eleven and a half hours…
My mom, and Jared are there by my side. I knew the moment was arriving soon. I breathed in and held it one last time while pushing with all my might. My hands clenching the fingers of my loved ones in a moment that none of us would ever forget. All at once the pressure left my body and with a huge feeling on relief I collapsed on the hospital bed. A couple seconds later, I heard my beautiful 6lb 8oz baby girl cry for the very first time. The nurses whisked her away to make sure that everything was okay. I found out at that moment the cord had been wrapped around her neck, but everything was going to be perfectly fine. This can’t be happening. I don’t know what I’ll do, I thought to myself, but although I had a ping of anxiety I trusted the doctors and nurses around me to tell me the truth. I couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms and stare at the sweet baby we had created.
It all happened so fast. Before I knew it, the moment I had waited for the past nine months for was here. I was holding my princess for the very first time. Her skin was so soft it felt like no other textile I had ever encountered. The palest peach skin against mine sent nothing, but positive feelings of love. I would look down into those deep brown eyes and see just a glimpse of everything I had ever hoped for. I cradled her sweet body against mine and just took in the feeling of her warm skin.
“She’s amazing!” I said as I looked toward Jared and my mom.
“Yes, yes she is,” My mom responded while Jared just stared with the biggest smile I had ever seen. I saw the tears roll down his cheeks with joy.
Penelope just kept her eyes wide-open staring back at us all in wonder like no other baby I had seen before. I am so in love, I kept thinking. Those eyes, the set of big brown eyes, open for the whole room to see. Her eyes caught everyone’s attention as they took in the room with all of its details. We could all see her scanning the room and taking in all the new faces as they entered the room. My dad, Jared’s mom, and my best friend filed in the room to see this sweet bundle of love. She would stop for brief moments to lock eyes with me as my closest loved ones passed her around in her fresh hospital blanket with pastel designs. I heard the cooing of her admirers as they rocked her ever so gently in their arms one by one before passing her into the next. Every time her sweet brown eyes would meet mine my heart would flutter knowing that I would be there for her forever.
Holding her close, nursing her for the first time I felt the connection that so many people long to feel. She is mine and I can’t believe I got so lucky to have such a happy, healthy little girl, I thought. As she looked up at me and her little fingers clenched around mine I knew what it felt like to be a mom. I knew what it felt like to know that you would give up your entire world for this little person. This little person who is genuinely a part of you and yet such an amazing individual on their own. I couldn’t get enough. We had that moment for what felt like forever and I felt as if I never wanted to let her go, but I knew it was time to share the love as I passed her off to her daddy. The way he lit up when seeing her could make anyone swoon.
“Hello, sweet baby girl, I am your daddy and I am going to love you forever,” He said, as he looked into her eyes.
I watched as he held the most important thing in our world in his arms and her big, beautiful brown eyes slowly closed as she fell asleep rocking in her daddy’s arms. At that moment the tears rolled down our cheeks and all we could feel was the joy of our brand new baby girl.